tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post5547017883644870688..comments2023-03-31T10:01:32.015-04:00Comments on Running The Race Before Us: Before August 2010Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06577680603923217492noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-45773886985323771002011-02-12T14:24:34.743-05:002011-02-12T14:24:34.743-05:00Hugs and prayers sent your way. I know this is an...Hugs and prayers sent your way. I know this is an older post and I'm behind and things are looking better. But I just want to say that your last few sentences sum it up, you can't put yourself together again, only God can...trust in Him, try to rest in Him and He will show you His faithfulness and His amazingness and pull you through to the joy you feel ou're missing*hugs and love from my snowy little town*SnowyWhitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08326517748426055090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-76666354561238241282011-01-30T20:58:10.553-05:002011-01-30T20:58:10.553-05:00I am so glad you have this place to get these feel...I am so glad you have this place to get these feelings out Jamie. I do think that these are normal feelings for a pregnancy after loss and sometimes we as mothers, wives, women expect so much of ourselves. Remember to be gentle on yourself and take time for yourself and for God and He is taking care of you even in the times you cannot feel it.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16483071078235764202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-32727887826694838992011-01-28T23:57:36.168-05:002011-01-28T23:57:36.168-05:00I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. I wish ...I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. I wish I could give you a big hug and get one in return. Life has been nothing but a huge rollercoaster for so many of lately. Im tired. I feel like Ive given up almost. Thinking of you!Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964282196898709053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-18629792798438831602011-01-28T16:47:10.641-05:002011-01-28T16:47:10.641-05:00Hi Jamie -
Oddly enough, August 2010 changed a lo...Hi Jamie - <br />Oddly enough, August 2010 changed a lot of things for me too. Often, I feel like you do [for other reasons obviously], but we have to find peace with doing as much as we can. The loss and all the changes thereafter certainly leave their mark. I know that its easy to say "don't be so hard on yourself", but that is a statement that I'm also trying to live. Trying to give into the illness when I feel sick, trying not to feel guilty when I don't do as much as I should, trying not to feel bad when I let down those closest to me. I'm in the process of decreasing and letting go of some of the responsibility and I'm trying to ask for help when I need it, and to be honest I have a really HARD time asking for help. I, like you, have always been "superwoman" and on top of everything - I just have to realize that right now I'm not even cutting it close. Hang in there...we're all here for you!Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05823767091787001229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-84220489084353340642011-01-26T22:34:56.320-05:002011-01-26T22:34:56.320-05:00I am sorry that you are having such a hard time ri...I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I don't mind getting stuck in the vomit :) especially if it helps.Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03402697763455633067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-72854618355622822682011-01-26T13:50:44.477-05:002011-01-26T13:50:44.477-05:00Jamie, many prayers coming your way! Take a deep ...Jamie, many prayers coming your way! Take a deep breath...<br />The hard time you are having bonding is normal and will fade over time. I have not met one loss mom that was immediate bonded with her rainbow like the grief never exsisted. This feeling will pass.<br />Money is just money. Work for it, take care of it, but try not to let it stress you so badly. Make a plan for the next month, then after that month, the next. (We used Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace Plan) I completely understand where you are coming from. Again, take a deep breath...it's just money...God will work it out...<br />As for school, I understand. Before my first loss, I was SO productive and went out of my way to be the best employee I could. Then it took me forever to even be able to concentrate. I was starting to get it back together, then our second loss...now I'm doing good if I'm there on time and get a couple of things checked off my to-do-list. I've been worried about this, but I feel like God has told me to be honorable, but don't stress...it's just a job...Do your best to honor God, but there are periods in our lives when we will be better employees than others.<br />Ugh, physically. I'm working on my thoughts in the same area. You take care of you, this too shall pass...<br />As for Beth, she is young and this time in her life will be like a blink of an eye in the big picture. I often feel like I'm letting Ethan down by grieving, but honestly, we would be letting them down if we didn't let them see us grieve some. <br />Being a better wife...again, I want to be one too. I'm praying in this area for both of us.<br />Your faith has taken a beating. You're tired, it's ok...God knows you love Him. Going to church doesn't equal the perfect Christian. Maybe Sunday nights would be a good time for a family devotion time. Just you, your hubs and Beth. Your being a good mom, wife and Christian by doing that in my opinion.<br />I hope I don't seem bossy or like I'm butting in, but I just wanted to tell you all these bad things and the guilt your are feeling in all the areas of your life will pass. Keep blogging about it, keep "vomiting" on us!<br />God is near, lean on Him and He will get you through.<br />Much Love.Mattiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10399030135018040344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-16102218977419356822011-01-26T11:23:52.895-05:002011-01-26T11:23:52.895-05:00Jamie, It is perfectly natural the way you feel. W...Jamie, It is perfectly natural the way you feel. Writing does help to get those bad feelings out of your system, so if need be continue to write about it so you can feel better. You will start getting more excited about your rainbow baby soon. As I said, I lost my baby girl 37 years ago and when I got pregnant with my son I was worried sick whether I would be able to carry him to full term or if he was going to be stillborn too. Back then the sonograms were just coming out so I had to go to Vanderbilt Hospital for them. It was amazing to be able to see my child I was carrying even though the pictures were grainy then. My last trimester was better for me. But until I heard him cry and held him I walked on egg shells. So we had a hard time too getting excited but after awhile we did and with God's help. I do know I did not give myself enough time to grieve the loss of my daughter, but that is water under the bridge now. So hang in there and write your feelings down. DO NOT keep them bottled up, makes it worse for you and your family and especially rainbow in there. xxxooo to you. My prayers are with you and your family. Everything will be alright. Just think what your angel would want you to do and do it. The angel would not want you to keep grieving, angel would want you to prepare for rainbow and be happy and tell him or her about angel someday. I told my two sons of their sister. Angels watch over us and that includes our children God has taken in his arms. I believe that with all my heart.Janethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04090319895980397611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-14550726264719048352011-01-25T23:17:32.446-05:002011-01-25T23:17:32.446-05:00Hugs and prayers Jamie! I hope that writing this ...Hugs and prayers Jamie! I hope that writing this out will help you to feel a little better.Karahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06783608926011177677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-86060211143215381952011-01-25T23:01:49.969-05:002011-01-25T23:01:49.969-05:00Oh, I know those feelings. I did not find myself a...Oh, I know those feelings. I did not find myself as excited about our rainbow baby's pregnancy. I was happy to be pregnant, but every day I wondered if something would go wrong. Being able to be naively happy was gone, as were my dreams of raising our precious River. Don't be too hard on yourself, you are going through the hardest thing any one of us has ever had to do. Thoughts and prayers for you to find hope and peace knowing our children will always be in our hearts. Hugs to you!Deannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06299163482958386559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-46554834736411067442011-01-25T21:59:20.029-05:002011-01-25T21:59:20.029-05:00Prayers and hugs to you, my friend! There are jus...Prayers and hugs to you, my friend! There are just days/weeks/months that are tough. You may not see an end in sight, but rest assured, God has not forgotten you. It does feel good to get all of that yuck out sometimes! Maybe it will open up some room to let you experience the good stuff. Praying for moments of joy. May you find them and squeeze them for all they're worth! ♥Kim @ Peace of my Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06744030879572205855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-39196277001762319172011-01-25T21:56:32.233-05:002011-01-25T21:56:32.233-05:00Jamie,
I am right there with you in so many ways!...Jamie,<br /> I am right there with you in so many ways! Micah was the baby that we thought God had sent to complete our family too. August changed that for us too. It just makes your head spin because you obviously DIDN"T know what God wanted for your family. This makes you wonder if this rainbow baby living here on Earth is indeed part of His plan or if His plan includes another angel. You know I have struggled with this. I too was a much better wife and mother before. So I fully understand how you feel. I also feel like I am accomplishing little to nothing every day because I don't feel well and am too tired. Try to hang in there. We are in this together! I am just trying to keep in mind that The Lord knows all and knows exactly what our family needs and will always do exactly what is right for our family. I just try the best I can to put it ALL in His hands. Sometimes it is overwhelming and I feel like I am sinking, but somehow God always pulls me through. He will pull you through too my friend, just hang in there. Don't feel bad about Beth because children are so loving and forgiving. She may not be having a very fun time right now, but it will pass and she won't even remember it. If she does remember, she will understand that Mommy was sick and all will be forgiven. I promise!!!! I have failed my kids more times than I would like to admit and they don't hold it against me. You love Beth and she knows that. That is all that matters. Also, give yourself some time to connect with this baby. It will happen. It is just that you are still grieving your angel and are still at least a little bit scared that you may lose this baby too. Trust me, I get it 100%! It will be okay. The Lord will carry you through this. He will carry BOTH of us through this! Feel free to talk to me ANYTIME you need someone to listen who is walking in the same shoes. We can get through this together. I will be praying for you. Maybe it will help. I know it sure helped when you prayed for me when I was struggling. God bless you.<br />Love,<br />MaryMaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00762931845120742601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7953383377208162257.post-62130309003232625982011-01-25T21:04:30.461-05:002011-01-25T21:04:30.461-05:00Oh Jamie, I'm sorry you are feeling so down! I...Oh Jamie, I'm sorry you are feeling so down! I do think feeling so sick all the time and all those hormones certainly isn't helping you feel any better but that is not to say you don't have reason to feel the way you do!<br /><br />Keep doing what you're doing. Beth has a good mommy and your husband has a good wife...whether you see that right now or not! That much is obvious!<br /><br />I'll continue to pray that you start feeling better physically and emotionally! <br /><br /> Things are going to get better! :)Katharine (LauraKat81)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11467869971012798760noreply@blogger.com