November 23, 2010

First Doctor's Appointment

((((Cue - Huge relieved SiGh))))  I'm so glad that's over!  It wasn't really a "doctor's" appointment but an appointment.  I wasn't sure what to expect when they scheduled me to come into the office today.  I figured blood work, but I didn't know what else they were going to do, if anything.  Turns out, that was it - the blood work. The nurse took some blood to run HCG and Progesterone level tests, and I was in and out of there in 10 mins!  Good thing too...

After pulling into the parking lot and paying to park, I drove around to find a spot and felt the urge to vomit.  Now, that could have been because nausea has begun with rainbow baby or - what I really think it was - I was nervous and remembering the news I got the last time I pulled into this parking lot.

I shook it off, parked, and walked into the office building.  Then, it hit me again.  First, the doctor's office/hospital smell - you know what I'm talking about?  They all have a very distinctive smell!  Anyway, after that hit me, another wave of nausea hit.  I started to shake a bit.  Thoughts of seeing Dr. B again ran through my head.  Would I cry? Would I hug her and just smile like a kid who has his hand in a candy jar - like I've been doing lately when I talk to others about this rainbow baby?

Well, I didn't see her.  Like I said, it was just the nurse who took some blood and said they'd call me tomorrow.  ((huge sigh))  I'm kinda glad I didn't see Dr. B today.  We'll deal with that some other time.

So, it's now a wait and see game.  They should call tomorrow with the blood results.  If the HCG and Progesterone is where it should be for a gal who is not even 5 weeks yet, then all is well and we'll schedule an appointment to see her again at 6 or 7 weeks - the doctor will decide.  If it's not okay, they'll take more blood, probably tomorrow or the day after thanksgiving, and see what the numbers do after a day or two.  Probably then see me sooner rather than later.

I'm praying for later!! Much later!!! In fact, I'd rather just see her at her normal 8 weeks first visit.  At least by then I know if an ultrasound is done - which she usually does - then we'll be able to see a heart beat and the shape of a baby bean. 

I don't want to - don't think I could go through again - another ultrasound where we don't see very much and begin to worry about the progress of the baby. Oh, Lord, please save me from this!

PLEASE join me in prayer for this rainbow.  Just a short shout out to the Lord on the behalf of Jamie, Angel Baby's and Beth's mommy, that this rainbow is a rainbow!

Actually, I am comforted that it is!  Constantly since I've found out that I'm pregnant again, I have moments of anxiety - those that have had a miscarriage or loss will understand this - but then I'll have moments of joy, where I sit and smile and just KNOW this is our rainbow.

In fact, I had one of those moments this morning.  You're gonna die when you read this!  This morning, Beth awoke at 6am wanting mommy to help her use the potty. I obliged, then stuck her back in bed with Michael and I.  It was beginning to sound like she had fallen asleep again, but all of a sudden she says, "Mommy! I REALLY want God to put a baby in your tummy!!!  I really want a sister, Mommy!" 

At that point, Michael turned over in utter shock.  Why in the world was she asking this?!  At 6am in the morning!! We were again thinking of not telling her until after a successful 8 weeks scan.  We had made that decision with our Angel Baby, and I was glad.  Dealing with the grief of that loss was too overwhelming; I couldn't have dealt with hers as well.

But after that impassioned plea out of the total blue, I couldn't help but smile at her and say... "I have something to tell you. God has put a baby in mommy's tummy!"

I wish I had a camera at that moment to record the smile on her face. It was brighter than any sun in this universe!  And then she started to giggle with happiness.  It was sooo cute, so I started to giggle with happiness.  And this must have gone on for about 5 mins!  IT WAS GREAT!!  God is sooo good to have orchestrated this moment for us - I know He did!

So you see, this rainbow has to be fine.  He/She is fine.  I know it!

4 comments:

  1. I LOVE your story with Beth and so excited for you getting to tell her the news. Big Tears!! Praying for you and your rainbow baby.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a beautiful story! Your family will be in my prayers! I pray this is your rainbow! :) :) Much love to you <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. I, the not-often-praying-prayer, am praying for your Rainbow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Okay, so you didn't tell me! Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete

Back to TOP