The Atlanta Women's 5K

April 14th, I got to run the largest 5K in the Southeast: The Atlanta Women's 5K.

Although I was bummed that none of my regular running chicas could experience this with me, I was excited to be running in this event. I had heard a lot about it, and the race certainly did live up to all the hype.

The atmosphere was electric with female pheromones! Music, set to a perfect tempo to excite runners, greeted me upon arrival, and after checking in and getting my bib, there were vendors to enjoy, tempting me to shop.

Before the race got started, we were given an opportunity to participate in a group stretch, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Then, runners were told to move to their race corrals.

Do you see the purple flowers on the race banner in the above pic? These emblems were everywhere. The medals were shaped like this flower, and I couldn't help thinking they looked a lot like purple forget-me-nots.

Now, if you have read my blog in between 2010 and 2016, you know that it used to be titled Forget-me-not, Oh Lord! And you know why those flowers are special to me. Whenever I see them, or anything that reminds me of them, I think about the baby I lost back in August of 2010, our Angel.

Waiting for the race to start, I thought about the day of my miscarriage, and looking around at the hundreds of women that surrounded me that day, I thought of the reality that 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. I wondered which of these ladies had at one point shared in the pain I had experienced eight years ago.

And then the race started. And I ran. And thoughts of Angel ran with me, thoughts of all that I had done since then to honor her memory, thoughts of the races run for her. 

And I was happy. 

To think of her now, makes me smile. Back then, to think of her would bring unimaginable sadness. But it is somewhat true what they say, "Time heals all wounds." So now when I think of her, I smile. I'm grateful to have carried her the few weeks I did. I'm a better person for having had her in my life.

So I ran. Happy. Determined to remain happy. And it was a good race.

Finished in 36:07

After finishing, I got a medal, my shirt, and a flower! We were showered with gifts!!

I had a great time enjoying me and remembering Angel. This race is a keeper, for sure! 

Count Your Many Blessings

As my Thanksgiving break comes to a close, I feel I should take some time to count my blessings.

I'm thankful for so much! My Savior, first and foremost. My family, especially my selfless husband and my beautiful children. My job, I love teaching English and coaching debate. My church, love my Jesus peeps. My blog, love this outlet for my thoughts, my words. My friends, special shout out to my Jaimee! And, of course, running. Sooo thankful for running!

Truly, those last two blessings often go together. My friend Jaimee and my love of running.

Recently, my best running buddy came with me as I ventured to Chatsworth, GA, for the fifth year in a row to participate in "A Walk to Remember and 5K."

Every year, this event provides me an opportunity to remember my Angel and all babies lost too soon.

This year, despite the smoke from all the wild fires in North Georgia, my Jaimee and I ran/walked the 5K.

We both took it easy, not wanting to inhale too much smoke, and I was too tired from having chaperoned a speech and debate overnight trip with teenagers the night before to push myself too hard. Although, none of that really matters cause WE DID IT!

Aside from the 5K, we enjoyed seeing all the vendors at this event to support pregnancy and infant loss awareness - including my friend Kristie at Footprints on the Heart. And, of course, they had their awesome raffle to raise money for the March of Dimes. I usually win something from the raffle, but this year, it was not meant to be. Even though that was a bit of a bummer, knowing the money I put toward the raffle was going to such a great cause made my heart happy.

We left after the raffle concluded, so we missed the candle lighting that ended the event. But Jaimee and I each got to take home a candle. And later that night, she sent me this pic.

She had lit her candle for my Angel.

So, you see, I have much to be thankful for. Events like these. And my Jaimee.

And Angel. Always you, my Angel.

Today's forget-me-not: all my many blessings

Tortoise and the Hare, and Us

Better late than never!

It is a cliche, somewhat overused, but there's a tremendous amount of truth in that phrase.

Anyway, On September 3rd, I ran the Tortoise and the Hare 10K with my running bestie, Jaimee.

And then, I forgot to write about it.

Yes, yes. I know. Shame on me!!!

We've run this race before and enjoyed the fact that it was a 10K, a trail race, and an overall unique experience, so we signed up for it again this year.

Flashback to September 2015

I'm glad we did it again. It was long and the course was hard, but that's what makes running this race so rewarding.

Just like life, right?

Get ready for another cliche: the best things in life aren't free.

Truly though, it's after those hard times when you can look back in retrospect and say, "I came through that alright." Or even better, "I came through that a stronger individual."

Those are the best of times; those are the most fruitful and fulfilling of times. 

Sorry. I can't seem to help myself tonight.

I've been talking about this with my students lately. No. Not how to utilize cliches and formulate puns. We have been talking about how our identity can be shaped by our circumstances for better or for worse. The choice is really up to us. 

As Lou Holtz once said, "Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it."

Like when you find yourself running a race you didn't train for, but you run it anyway, throwing every ounce of energy you have into it while striving to maintain a smile on your face. #likeaboss

It's just like when the tortoise ran against the hare. Yes, that timeless tale. No one expected the tortoise to win. He would surely be defeated. Deflated. Destroyed.

But he "ran" that race. The best he could. And then he won it.

Now, allow me to switch gears and change my tone to make an important connection: It's just like those who have suffered the loss of a child.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (October) is soon to be upon us, and this idea that our tragic circumstances can be used for good is truly exemplified in the lives of those parents who have lost a child and yet work tirelessly in that child's name to bring beauty from ashes.

If you haven't seen NBC's new hit show "This is Us," you need to see it. *Spoiler Alert!* In the very first episode, a father and mother lose one of their triplets, and the doctor, in an effort to comfort the grieving father, talks about when he and his wife lost their first child. He explains how it inspired him to become an obstetrician - with the hope of saving the lives of other babies. He admonishes the father to do this: to find a way to take the worst this life can give an individual and make it into the best.

I've put the clip below. Please watch it. Be inspired. And whatever life throws at you, just keep running even though it seems as if everything is working against you. If you do that, you can't lose. Just ask the tortoise.

Today's forget-me-not:

Memories

My girls and I ran another fun run a couple weekends ago.

Collins Dixon 5K and Fun Run
Race Recap: The race was fun and hot. End race recap. ;-)

I'm just now getting around to writing about that event because it fell on the weekend between pre-planning for teachers and the first week of school. Can you say, "BUSY!"?

Yes. We've been super busy. I now have a little girl in pre-k and a big girl in fourth grade.

When did I get so old?! ;-)

The beginning of a new school year is exciting but also hard. It's hard to get back into the routine of getting the kids up early and out the door. And it's hard standing all day on my feet and teaching after sitting on my butt all summer. Our bodies sure take a beating and go into a bit of shock during this time. Needless to say, the kids are asleep by 8:30 pm with momma not that far behind.

And there's one more thing that makes the first week of school hard. Memories.

Memories of the day I was miscarrying Angel but went into work anyway. Not realizing how agonizing the physical and emotional pain would be.

That was a hard day.

And here I am, six years later. Remembering.

Remembering that day. Remembering the loss. Remembering the sadness.

Remembering you, Angel.

I'll never forget you.

Tell Diana, Christian, and Jen that your mommy sends her love and eagerly awaits when we can all worship Jesus together.

Until then, praise Him, sweet one. Praise Him!

Today's forget-me-not: Angel

My Story - My Loss

My name is Jamie. I'm a high school English teacher, speech team coach, mother to a 3.5 year old girl named Beth, and married to the most caring, understanding, giving man alive! Praise the Lord, I was saved the summer before my senior year in high school. I've been growing in the Lord since then; however, He rocked my world on August 4th of this year when I saw on an ultrasound that our baby, that was supposed to be 8 weeks, was only measuring 6 weeks. Also that day, the heart I had seen beating on my birthday just a week before had stopped beating...


Let me back up a little. My husband and I always knew we wanted 2 children, knew (and still know) that God had that plan for us. We started praying when Beth was 3 as to when we should start on baby number 2 - then one morning in my quiet time, my girl awoke and caught me praying. :-) She knelt beside me and said, "Watcha doing mommy?" I replied, "Praying." She paused, thought about that, then commanded, "Well, pray!" So with her kneeling beside me I started to pray that we would be good and Jesus would be pleased with us... then my child breaks in and says, "Jesus, please give my mommy a baby!" Well, needless to say, we had our answer. We started to try to conceive...

In July, we saw a positive pregnancy test! On my birthday, July 26, we went in for the first ultrasound at 7 weeks and knew something was wrong... we could see a heartbeat, a sac, but not much else. The doctor asked if my timing could be off... if maybe I wasn't as far along as I had thought... However, I knew my timing wasn't off. She took some blood, and we started the wait and see game.

The blood revealed that I had low progesterone, so she put me on prometrium. Everything I read online said prometrium prescribed during the 7th week was more like a last ditch effort to save a miscarriage - and it rarely works. I was so worried, but I hung on to every shred of hope I could find! However, as stated above, on Wednesday, Aug. 4th, via ultrasound, we saw the baby had developed some more, but there was no heartbeat. I had started spotting, cramping some, and the very next day I had my miscarriage.

The bleeding was awful! I had taught school that day, in immense pain! The tylenol was taking the edge off though. However, when I got home from work, sat down on the toliet, a lot of blood and clots fell from me... I knew it was the baby. I cried, tried to compose myself cause my daughter was home, called the doctor, and she had me come in for an ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage. The ultrasound showed that everything was on it's way out... no more baby... nothing... The D&C we had scheduled for tomorrow was cancelled. My body, my God, had taken care of what He had started.

I would just love to know why - even though I know I'll never really know in this life. I'm hoping to draw some comfort from His holy word. Life after the miscarriage has been tough. Two days after it, I caught a stomach virus, then I got dehydrated, and then when I tried to return to work after being out for so long, I had a panic attack before school had even started - dizziness and light headedness. It's only now, over 3 weeks later, that I can say physically, I'm getting back to my old self... emotionally, getting better.

I'm different. We're different. We'll never be the same. I miss my baby. We memorialized him/her by buying a special box we put the ultrasound pictures in. We had it engraved, "God Bless our Little Angel - August 5, 2010" I also have purchased a forget-me-not necklace in the baby's memory. These things give me comfort in those few moments I have where I still need to cry. I don't know when we'll try to conceive again, but I do know that a new baby will never replace the one we lost.

Praying healing for everyone who has experienced a loss!
Jamie