December 9, 2010

today I feel...

sad.

This nausea and extreme fatigue has made me miss my Angel even more. If he/she was still with me, I'd be sooo beyond this point of always feeling like I want to hurl... *****SiGh*****

I went and visited the March 2011 babycenter board that I used to frequent before my loss. Why did I do that? I read this...

You're 23 weeks pregnant! Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes.

Oh! I miss that baby so much!!

That's not to say I'm not happy about our rainbow - please, no one hear me say that!  This little life is just as important and already holds so much meaning to me.  In fact, just ignore me.  I don't do pregnant well :-(

It's so hard to get anything accomplished these days - especially at work!  (I sound like a broken record - I'm sorry)

One last comment and I'll leave this useless post to spin out in cyberspace...

I can't wait to get rid of my 7th period class.  That's my public speaking class.  It's only a semester course, so I'll get a new set of kidos for that class in January.  THANK GOD!  This group I have now is so restless, so rude, so loud and they take so much of whatever ounce of energy I have left at the end of the day.  I'm just over them. 

Okay, I'm done complaining.  Sorry, just helps to get this out.  hummm... maybe if I just let myself throw up I'd feel better?... .humm..... nah!

Oh! ONE more thing!  One thing I hate about Christmas and TV - those darn car commercials!!!  I mean, REALLY!?  Who gives a car as a Christmas gift?!  That's just not realistic, at least in my world it isn't.  I HATE CHRISTMAS CAR COMMERCIALS!!!

I just found this - it says it all - one potty word though, please ignore that.  Imagine me bleeping it out.



And here is one of those dreaded commercials that I just saw on TV and which sparked the ending to this meaningless post...  Merry Christmas!

3 comments:

  1. I hope you start feeling better soon.

    And I know what you mean, nothing will replace our angels. They were unique individuals. I miss mine too.

    ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I understand my friend. One child can't replace another. I would be 23 weeks along too. Like you, I love this new baby very much, but miss Micah oh so much too. I am just wondering how I will feel come April 7th when Micah was due and when I will (God willing) be 22 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. I know that God is good and He will carry us through our due dates, but I am sure that tears will be shed by both of us. I am so grateful for this new life growing inside of me and I know you are too. We just miss our angels because they are an important part of our lives too. I am praying for both of our rainbows to keep growing healthy and strong. I hope you feel at least a little better soon. God bless you and your family.
    Love,
    Mary

    ReplyDelete
  3. Missing my Angel too...you aren't alone. I suppose I always will.

    Praying for you and for your hearts burden to be lighter. And I hope the nausea gives you a break. However, it sure is a good sign that all is progressing well.

    xxx

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