April 22, 2011

A Pause

I found this quote on BLM Tiffany's blog:


"A miscarriage is a natural and common event. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven't. Most don't mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn't happened, so people imagine a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had.

But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she'll know." ~Barbara Kingsolver


That quote combined with reading BLM Stephanie's blog, got me thinking of my Angel right now.

I've not forgotten my Angel, but I just can't spend huge amounts of time anymore grieving the loss of him/her.  It takes energy I just am in short supply of right now.  Stephanie really does a good job explaining this in her most recent blog post - linked above. 

However, this doesn't mean that I've forgotten my Angel - as the Barbara Kingsolver quote highlights.

I wish I had more time to do things in memory of our Angel - like those forget-me-not plantable paper angels that I had this big glorious plan to send to you all.  Sadly, I just can't.  I'm busy being a mom to Beth and preparing for Hannah.  I'm a wife, a friend, a teacher...

And, that's okay.  I know where my Angel is - safe in the arms of Jesus.  I'll see him/her again one day.  And I will always remember him/her.  There will be times to remember my Angel.  Specific ones like October 15th pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.  And there will be just times, when I'll pause and remember him/her.

This is one of those.

3 comments:

  1. Hugs to you, Jamie. I think this is one of those things where, just as you said, you don't grieve every minute of every day openly, but your heart remembers. Your heart will never forget.

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  2. You are living your life, Jamie. Just as you should be doing. This is a sign of healing and moving through the grief. Taking a moment to remember your Angel and believing that you will be with him/her again is your way of dealing with your pain. I love this post...it gives hope on a day when I needed it. ((Hugs))

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