September 22, 2015

Please, don't #ShoutYourAbortion

When I found out I was pregnant for the second time, I was beyond thrilled.  My oldest would have a sibling. That dull ache I had for another cute little baby to hold would be satisfied. My husband hoped for a son to balance out all the estrogen in the house.

We began making preparations for our next child as soon as I got the positive pregnancy test. We started cleaning out the guest room to make room for a new crib.  We began to talk about possible names for him or her.

Then, on my 34th birthday, we got the news that our baby, then seven weeks gestation, was not developing as he or she should. And at my eight weeks ultrasound, I saw my baby again - this time with a still heart.


The little life we had celebrated and had prayed for was gone at only eight weeks. We named her Angel.

I'm sharing this with you because as I browse my Twitter feed today, I see women celebrating the deaths of their babies to abortion. And most likely, those little lives were probably around the same gestation as my Angel.

Did you know, according to the most recent data on the CDC website that I could locate, "the majority of abortions in 2011 took place early in gestation: 91.4% of abortions were performed at less than 13 weeks gestation."

Friends, I am sickened! How can anyone find anything positive in the hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion? You are shouting that a baby died. A new life was ended. Potential was robbed.

Lindy West, who appears to be at the lead of this new hashtag trend, recently said this in response to criticism that women who were shouting out abortions were, in essence, celebrating those abortions:

is merely about volume, about being in earshot. It has no inherent value judgment except for the absence of shame.  

However, if something is not shameful, that makes it something to be proud of - that is the antithesis here. Antonyms to shame include approval, esteem, honor, praise, respect, and pride. So whereas Ms. West can't understand how anyone would see the use of that hashtag in reference to an abortion as a "celebration" of that abortion, I can't understand how she is blind to that reality.

The truth is this: If you use the hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion in reference to your choice to end your baby's life, you are exhibiting pride in what you have done. Own it.

That hashtag has produced chilling tweets like these:

I've never for 1 second regretted my 2 abortions at 19 and 24. & I know the men in my life haven't either.


I've never wanted to have children, so I had an abortion. I'm thriving, without guilt, without shame, without apologies.

No regrets. No guilt. No shame. Sounds like a celebration to me.

And this baby loss momma can't understand that.  Losing Angel was a dark time in my life. Something so precious within me was no longer.

Here's some perspective for those shouting out their abortions:

Your flippant shout out devalues that life I lost to miscarriage.    
And your cocky shout out is a slap in the face to those that struggle with infertility.

So, please, just stop the shouting already. You are breaking my heart all over again.

Today's forget-me-not: The sweet babies lost to abortion.

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