September 20, 2010

I'm funny!

Last night was the second meeting of the miscarriage bible study I've joined. Can I say, I already love each of these women sooo much! We haven't even really gotten into the study yet, and I'm thinking, "When can we get together?!" We could choose a place in the middle of the great United States of America and just meet some time next year! I think that would be awesome!

Anyway, we had a great moment last night that I just need to blog about - one I don't want to forget (me not) :-)

We were looking at that portion of the old testament where David loses the son he had with Bathsheba...

2 Samuel 12:15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

18 On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."

19 David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked.
"Yes," they replied, "he is dead."

20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

Well, the servants are a bit perplexed at this and ask him why he's acting this way - after all, his son just died!? But David doesn't seem to see a problem with this saying...

22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

Many see this verse and say, "See, yes you've experienced a terrible loss, but you just need to move on now."

May I give you a word of advice... DON'T EVER TELL THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS EXPERIENCED A MISCARRIAGE OR EARLY INFANT LOSS! Don't use scripture to tell me how to grieve!

However, some do, and they use the above to highlight how we (who have experienced such a loss) should act after that loss. In fact, some women really struggle with this scripture.

But - here's the funny part - while we were discussing this last night, I felt God lay an interpretation of this verse on my heart...

I think God put this in the Bible to show us how differently men and women react to a miscarriage/early infant loss. Because, this is totally a man's response! It's a ... "Okay, yeah, really sad thing happened to us... what next?" That's a man!

After I suggested that, the women in the bible study were shouting AMEN and we had a lot of LOL for a few minutes - they were totally feeling what I meant! Anyway, all that typed to say, I really think that God is showing us here how differently men and women grieve. We are different; it's okay. Let him be, and he should let you be. And when you need each other, then be together.

Michael and I have both had our separate grieving moments and our together ones. Understandably, I cried more - I'm a woman after all - can you say HoRmOnEs!!! And just when I think he's moved on, so to speak, he'll say something that shows me he still thinks of our lost baby. I love him!

Well, I just had to share that ROTFLOL moment. ;-) I keep telling my high school students that I'm sooo funny; they just don't believe me!

I think I missed my calling in life... Anita Renfroe, watch out!

1 comment:

  1. I read your story on faces of loss. I too got a birthday baby this past july (22nd) and I miscarried at 10 weeks on the 19th of august - 3 days after seeing the heartbeat :( I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for your loss and that I am so glad that we both know our Father in heaven is watching over our babies - yours and both of mine :) God Bless you!

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