November 16, 2010

waiting for AF

She's coming - I can feel it - so why torture me with all this teasing (i.e. cramps)!!!  JUST COME ALREADY!

Every moment she stays away a little voice inside me whispers, "Maybe you're pregnant..."

I shake my head to clear it of this insane thought.  We only DTD once this month and only somewhat close to ovulation, and so chances I am prego are slim to none.  Besides, didn't I just say, AF is coming - I can feel it!

And really, I'm okay with it.  Really.  Surprised?  I kinda am :-)

Like I said, we didn't try hard this month, I've been sick, and besides, I'm kinda excited about TTC this coming cycle.  Gonna try for a Christmas present - at least, that's what I told the hubby I wanted for Christmas. hehe

Anyway, if the Christmas present doesn't come then I've got a plan B.  I'll call my OB.  If it doesn't happen for Christmas then at least I'll have 3 months worth of charting my BBT while TTC, and we can talk about what, if anything, might be "wrong."  TTCing after a miscarriage just always makes you think something must be wrong...

So that's the plan.  And the OCD in me likes to have a plan because I like to have some kind of "control" in a situation.  It makes me feel okay, safe. To be true though, I'm sure one of the things the good Lord is trying to teach me is to not rely on my plans so much.  This is hard for me not to do!  I'm working on it though... and obviously so is He *wink* ;-)

Oh, and I guess the real reason I'm  frustrated that AF has not arrived yet is because her tardiness has put a delay on a guilty pleasure I indulge in when AF shows up - I eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, the chocolate fudge brownie kind, all in one sitting.  AF makes me crave chocolate! 

alright... alright... Confession - I always crave chocolate. heheh

Come on already, AF!!!!!!

UPDATE: Hubby just walked in with a Reece's peanut butter cup cake... this will do as a pre-show for Ben and Jerry

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