December 27, 2010

trying my hardest - really, I am!

As I type this, I am struggling to keep down my dinner while disturbing thoughts of, "What if this lasts throughout my entire pregnancy?!" run rapidly through my head. 

I hate feeling unproductive, helpless, and lazy.  That isn't me! But this nausea and vomiting has me feeling that way TO THE MAX! 

I'm trying not to dwell on these feelings, trying my hardest to be as productive as possible, but all I want to do is sit, sleep, and be still because that's the only time I feel better.

However, have you discovered, our houses don't clean themselves?! errr  God and me are gonna have to talk about that... ;-)

Anyway, Christmas in Indiana wasn't so bad.  I saw my mom and step-dad, saw my dad who I hadn't seen or talked to in over 6 months or more... I think more...  saw my aunt Cindy, and stayed with my sister and her family complete with almost 2 month old Lucas.  It all went well.  I was just so sick the entire time; I couldn't really enjoy it.  The family members I listed that I saw while up there is really just a small amount of the entire family that I have up north. I skipped seeing  a lot of people in favor for sitting lazily on my sister's couch and/or going to bed early.  Needless to say, I have a few mad aunts and a ticked grandmother, but I just couldn't physically get myself to see everyone this time.  Hated that, but it is what it is...

Now I'm staring at all these Christmas decorations around my house and want to weep!  Who is gonna put all this stuff away!?  Probably my uncomplaining husband - he's soooo good to me.  I couldn't make it through this pregnancy without him! 

Gonna call the doctor tomorrow and see if there isn't some other nausea meds that she can give me.  Taking the generic for Zophran (sp?) now, but it hardly works.  When your vomiting in your car on the way home only an hour after taking a pill that is supposedly an anti-nausea med, there's something wrong. 

Also, I need to confess to her that - please no one on here be angry with me about this - but I haven't been real regular with my prenatal or progesterone pills.  I can hardly get down food let alone pills that I subconsciously believe aid in my sickness.  I try to take them when I feel less likely to vomit, but there have been times where I've taken them only to see them soon afterward.  Sorry - TMI :-(

I'm struggling, ya'll.  And fast approaching is my March due date for my Angel Baby.  That's messin with my head.  With 2011, I was to be seeing a third trimester - instead, I'm in the midst of the most nauseous first trimester I've ever had.  And it makes me MAD!  Even though I know this is all in my Jesus' will, and His will is best, I'm selfish.  I wanted my plan, my Angel... oh.... I'm so sick...

I just need to stop typing... sorry for the lame post.  I'll try to get a more positive, God honoring post, when I feel a little better... if I feel better.

4 comments:

  1. I am praying for you too feel better. I think it should start letting up soon. That's what I'll be praying for.

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  2. Stay strong, Jamie! You don't have to do it all, just take care of yourself and your baby. What could be more important than that? :)

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  3. Yup...houses don't clean themselves, that's why its good to splurge on a cleaning lady sometimes. I have a lady that comes every 2-3 weeks to do some of the "heavier" cleaning that I can't manage - she's a God-send!

    Don't feel bad. Part of faith is being honest about your feelings. I think we are all frustrated at times, maybe not directly AT God, but certainly at the situation!

    Maybe ask your doc if you could do some acupuncture? I get really bad nausea and vomiting from all my pain meds and I was on Diclectin, which was also prescribed during my pregnancy, and it did nothing! I was so bad I was throwing up every 2-3 days. I'm now doing acupuncture of the head/neck and the nausea is sooo much better! My therapist tells me that they don't recommend needles in certain acupressure points in the third trimester, but that needles in the head/neck wouldn't be a problem. Worth looking into?? (and the needles truly are not painful at all!]

    Hang in there!!!

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  4. Jamie,

    Bless your heart, as it seems that you are beyond typical pregnancy nausea. Perhaps your Dr. needs to evaluate you for hypermesis (sp?), as that is severe nausea. Zofran is supposed to be magical, but I have a very dear friend who it did not help either. However, she was introduced to preggie pops and they helped a bit. Also, go to your pharmacy and ask for B Natal lozenges. My RE gave them to me and you can get them without a prescription....worth a shot for those inbetween times.

    I will be praying for you, as being nautious and hovering over the loo or a waste basket is no fun :( Also, I wish you peace of heart as your EDD approaches....I've been there and its not easy. Sending you extra love and BIG HUGS.

    xxx

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