You worry.
Now, if you are a Christian parent, there's one more thing you worry about in addition to all the aforementioned aspects of your kids' well-being. You worry about your kids' salvation. And if they become Christians, you then switch to worrying about their relationship with God.
And so, the worry seems endless.
Then, if we're paying attention, there are these celestial moments that transpire, and it's as if God says, "I got this. Trust me." Please permit me to share one such moment that happened to me this past weekend:
I was walking around the house with laundry I had just folded, putting it all in the proper places, when I heard my husband singing the hymn "It is Well" by Bethel Music. He was playing it on his phone and singing along. As I walked down the hallway, I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I saw him and my oldest daughter close by him; she was listening to her daddy. She was listening to her daddy sing. And my heart grew - like the Grinch's did after learning the true meaning of Christmas.
It was in that moment, I heard God say, "Jamie. I got this. Trust me."
I worry. But I don't need to. Because my God is in control. He's got His eye on her, and He exerts His sovereign influence in her life, even at times using her imperfect parents. What is there to worry about when God is in control?!
In that moment, God calmed the raging sea of Christian mommy worry in me. I felt that peace as I heard - really heard - the words of the song my husband was singing:
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well
In that moment, God calmed me. In that moment, I felt His regard, as Psalm 138:6 expresses it:
"Though the Lord is exalted, He looks kindly on the lowly; though lofty, He sees them from afar."
And even though I don't know what the future holds for my children and their faith, in that moment, I was reminded that I do know who holds their futures.
He looks kindly on me, and on them. He sees me, and He sees them. So, I don't have to worry. This was reinforced on Sunday when I heard our choir sing the song my husband practiced that afternoon with our daughter by his side. The words poured into my soul again and renewed my faith:
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see
And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well
So when I feel the Christian momma worry creep up again and threaten to steal my joy, I will recite to myself the concluding words to Bethel Music's song:
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
No worries.
Today's forget-me-not:
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